|
Subscribe to Ruminations! |
|
HOME Search! Wanna Play? Subscribe ClubRum Hall of Fame Swag Shop E-mail us! TopFive Daily Probe |
|
John Gephart |
|||||||||||||
It was a cold, crisp morning in late November when the firm hand of
destiny struck. A young man of above average height and below average
intellect was walking on a narrow path that cut across a wide meadow. A
bird whistled a happy tune in the distance, moments before being consumed
by a nearby hawk, robbing the world of the first and only sparrow born
with fully functioning lips. It was then that a truck full of broken
glass shards from a nearby shard factory took a sharp turn to avoid a
mirage, sending it barreling down the steep hill to the dew-covered grass
below. And there they met: man, hawk, and truck. The booming noise of
the ensuing inexplicable, needless explosion rattled through the valley.
Only one thing survived.
That thing was John Gephart. No, not the author of countless Ruminations and the topic of this bio, but another person by that very name. The John Gephart which you clicked to learn about is completely different, albeit the shards of glass still lodged in his skin from an altogether different experience than the one above. And frankly, he is appalled to learn why you're here, reading this. He wants no part in your information gathering, and will provide no details. His eyes, which are responsible for numerous female swoonings in the past, have been covered by a black bar to ensure his anonymity. Unless, of course, you are rather talented at recognizing people based entirely on their mouths. Do you have such skills? John Gephart thinks not. John has been a Top Five contributor and Ruminator for as long as he can remember. Sadly, this means very little, as he has lost the ability to remember events that took place longer than a fortnight hence. Let's assume since 1999 and leave it at that. His special blend of humor can be further researched at niftyness.com. |
|||||||||||||
|
© Copyright 1996-2005. All rights reserved. Ruminate.com is owned by Chris White. Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent. |